After years of nurturing our precious offspring… it is – whichever way you fall – a BIG DEAL!
…A massive step that only a mother can fully comprehend.
The basics of cooking, cleaning and laundry are soon forgotten, as are the incessant trails of clothing, crisp packets and debris – It’s the laughter, the late night discussions, the passion for their latest interest, the elation of their newest song, the ever growing amplifier and guitar collections, the romances, the mates, the dramas – these are the memorable and important things…. Living with teenagers is colourful, noisy and non-stop. Love it or hate it, when it finishes there is an ENORMOUS silence.
Part 1
So the day arrives, Uni beckons. To avoid that feeling of desolation the room “make-over” becomes prime focus!
We arrived with three carloads of soft furnishings (sounds familiar?!), all to go in an 8ft by 4 ft room. After trying fruitlessly to rearrange the bed and desk in a vain attempt to make more space, the next overly enthusiastic step is a frenzied cleaning mission. My mother, unable to stop ,vacuumed every student´s room on the landing – I think she was actually in a worse state than me! But oh how we battle to put on a smile – to be enthusiastic, positive and happy.
Transformation complete, the once baron room now looking a little more like home and the endless boxes of food, provisions and kitchen supplies unpacked and rammed into every available space – it was time for tea, homemade cake and to meet my son´s new flat mates – Athough Barry from Belfast had been kicked off his last course for excessive drinking and drugs and Dean from Middleton kicked out of home due to lack of space, I still tried desperately to convince myself that this was ok and great character building stuff and because it was what my son wanted, I pushed down the sick, empty, ominous feeling that was beginning to grow inside.
Part 2
So what happens when the emptiness and grief starts to lift, when the silence doesn’t seem quite so deafening and when you no longer moon around their now immaculate bedroom desperate for something to tidy…?!
You take a look at the person left behind, i.e. you focus on yourself … and not always to kindly!!!
Sometimes the reawakening of a mother’s own identity is a difficult journey.
Along with a waning sense of purpose, the gift of time to scrutinize and criticize what we see in the mirror before us is not always welcome!!!
Being a mother is undoubtedly the most selfless career possible and many women unconsciously stop considering their own needs somewhere along the way.
Part 3
Despair not!!! All is not lost. Its time to change your mindset to that of excitement and opportunity – you need a good action plan to get the very most out of this new era of your life. One that involves mind, body and soul!
As a starting point you would be very welcome to come and visit us at Loved for a totally illuminating facial consultation, scan and tailor made programme to suit your personal needs. Be it corrective light based treatments or perhaps a course of micro-dermabrasion to brighten and lift dull sallow skins.You may consider Lipomassage (endermologie), available to tighten and remodel body shapes, eradicating cellulite in the process – Spray tans instantly increase confidence and pampering facials or deeply relaxing massages, not only work wonders for the skin but feed your soul too. We will help you cherry pick exactly what is right for you.
Treating yourself may seem indulgent at first but remember that if you don’t value yourself, no-one else will either!
Take time to get out in nature, spirits are instantly lifted with beautiful scenery – Join a gym, start yoga, go swimming – Exercise will release the “feel good” endorphins and a fit ,supple body will give you much more energy and a greater capacity to enjoy all the great things that life has to offer.
Don’t forget the importance of special people… fun and laughter with girlfriends is irreplaceable and rekindling the romance in your marriage will have you feeling like a teenager all over again…!
Embrace the change, don’t fight it – its your time again and its up to you alone to make the most of it!